WHEN IS TOO MANY TOO MUCH ?

Part 4 of 4

In the final part of the series, I bring to you alternatives to purchasing more toys.

I have some homework for you. Below I have categorised activities possible based on the different intelligences. Can you think of toys or materials already readily available at home to help out in these activities ?

THINK – BE CREATIVE.

What toddlers really “must have” is:
Time and opportunity to play, parents who value the role of play and take the time to play with them, and a variety of play experiences.

Play time helps them explore their world, figure out how their bodies work, learn how to use tools to accomplish cool things, practice interacting with others, learn the value of trial and error, learn how to make decisions, learn about cause and effect and the consequences of their actions.

Toddlers benefit by having a variety of activities to stimulate different skills and brain development.

@ Word Play
Read to your child. Kids’ books are great for rhythm & rhymes, Go to the library regularly, and get excited about the books you find. Talk to your child. Label things: when he reaches for a ball, say “that’s a ball.” When she notices a bird flying by, say “see the bird.” Expose him to other languages.

@ Number Play
Count out loud. Count how many seconds to change a diaper, how many steps from the kitchen to family room, how many toys are on the floor, etc. Talk about numbers or comparisons: there’s more blocks in that pile, there’s three dogs over there, this spoon is bigger than that spoon, in five minutes we’ll put shoes on. Talk about the order of tasks and sequencing: first, we do this, then that.

@ Putting the Pieces Together – FINE MOTOR SKILLS
Put things in and take things out. Put lids on, take them off. Open and close doors. Talk about directions: we’re going up stairs, the book is on the top shelf, it’s above the trains, but below the stuffed animals. These activities are great for fine motor skills and developing those essential pre-writing skills.

@ Moving about – GROSS MOTOR SKILLS
Make sure that your child gets ample of time outside the house as well. Playground time, swinging your child side to side, “wrestling” with your child, playing together in a swimming pool, dancing together, climbing stairs will not only help your child grow healthy physically but also help create a fun and happy bond.

@ Playing Well With Others
Many children find it difficult to socialise or are socially awkward. For this reason, it is very important that they are exposed to – Interaction! Lots of time with attentive adults – alternate lead and follow with what she wants to do & what you want her to do which is also known as step instructions – get me pen, put it on the table.  Practice saying please, thank you, as well as other manners and sharing. Engage in supervised play with friends.

@ Learning about Myself and How I Feel
Intrapersonal intelligence is not about toys or about specific activities. It’s about giving your child down- time to reflect on things, play on their own, learn to entertain themselves, and learn to problem-solve on their own. It is more to do with Emotional Intelligence and how a child can effectively acknowledge one’s feelings and temperament.  It is about being able to understand and label the feelings he is having. Help give your child words for how he feels. Share words for how you’re feeling: “I’m sad because… I was afraid when…”

@ Song and Dance Routines
Do this to the maximum. Children love to sing and dance so do that with your child. Musical rhythms help children develop mathematical intelligence.

@ Fun with Flora and Fauna
Along with the regular outdoor trips make sure that there are trips to the park, the beach, the zoo etc also planned for your child.  Plan excursions and go for walks, notice the birds, look out the window at the moon or a rainbow, talk about the weather, shop for fruits and veggies.

@ Expanding Their Horizons
Pretend play is a very important skill and play technique that any child should engage in. It is important that the child should take notice of the similarities and differences between the different cultures using dress up and puppets. Play imagination games. Make up puppet shows. Talk about ways of understanding the world, different cultures, traditions and languages.

@ All the Pretty Colours
Art is a great way and channel for a child to express their innermost desires, aspirations and dreams. Encourage and expose your child to variety of art techniques, blowing bubbles, playing with water colours and mixing up shades. Cut pictures out of magazines and catalogs to create beautiful mosaic pieces.  Talk about colours and how they interact with each other. Do art together.

Image Source – Google Search (Commercial use license)

WHEN IS TOO MANY TOO MUCH ?

Part 3 of 4
BOREDOM – NECESSITY OR NOT ?

My husband and I often have this conversation over tea. With my teaching background and many kids in both our extended families, we often ask each other this question.

Growing up we both don’t remember a single instance where we said “We are bored.” We found joy in simple things. I remember playing with kitchen utensils and my dolls. He played with marbles, throwing a ball on the wall and hitting it with a bat when his building friends were away for vacation. We had the ability to entertain ourselves. We asked this question to our friends to get an unbiased opinion. They said the same thing. They also had the ability to entertain themselves and seldom used the word “Boredom”.

Children also need time to themselves – to switch off from the bombardment of the outside world, to daydream and pursue their own thoughts.

So what’s the problem now ?
Why do kids get bored easily despite having a room full of toys, digital games and gadgets at their disposal ??

Too much of anything is linked to this phenomenon. Loss of appreciating and maintaining what little you have. Easy distractions, low attention spans and concentration levels all are to be blamed.

WHAT YOU NEED TO DO?
Parents should allow your children to be bored. I like to call it the gift of boredom. Allowing children to be bored truly is a gift. When a child comes to you and states their boredom, say “oh dear” and empathise “I can see you are bored” but don’t offer some kind of entertainment.

Let the child be resourceful because out of boredom comes engagement and creativity. Creativity is more important now than ever before. They need to learn to “self-entertain” & “pretend play”.

Now you will say aaahhh pretend play. That doesn’t mean you need to purchase a kitchen set, or tool set or doctor set..
Can’t they imagine it? Turn a table into a gas and play with your kitchen utensils?
Pretend giving you an injection using their index fingers ?
Pretend being a vegetable vendor with a basket and real veggies available at home ?
Pretend to be a postman with a normal cloth bag and letter ? Wear a cap made out of paper ??
Pretend to be a chef with your kitchen apron and a paper hat ?

We did it. Help them do it too. DON’T “rescue” your child by offering new entertainment. Many of kids’ most creative moments followed after they said “I’m bored!”.
Dont fix it for them by handing them new toys but leave them to their own devices(non-digital) to figure out a new game or project. Suddenly, the “same old toys” take on new life.

For young children, like toddlers and preschoolers, you can offer “invitations to play.”
You can put out old toys in new combinations, or allow them to play with various household objects. For example putting a horse on the kitchen table, suddenly they’re building a stable, and when they want a ramp for a carriage, they grab a wooden ruler from the desk.

The child’s sense of self and the child’s sense of being will only awaken when there is calmness and stillness.

DO THIS AND SEE IT WORK
@ If your child comes to you saying he is bored – Stop what you are doing and listen to him.

@ I usually said this to my nephew when he was a kid – wow boredom is good. Come on – give me a hug. He used to snuggle in and I used to massage his forehead and ask him questions. Why is he bored ? What is going on in his mind ?

@ By the time I finished my conversation, he already had figured out what to do next. He would spring up and say, ” Neha Maasi (Aunty) I am going to do this or that.. “. Downtime allowed him to think clearly – of IDEAS.

@ If they can’t come up with an idea, you figure it out for them. Hear them say NO to your options. They will eventually end up doing one of the things you suggested or will clearly have devised a way to rescue themselves. REMEMBER – TV is not an option.

@ Come up with crazy and fun ideas as boredom busters. Do crazy science experiments, allow them to dress you in the most weirdest way possible, let them play in the tub with their clothes on… possibilities are endless .

@ Just let them sit idle for a while. It’s normal.

@ Prepare busy-bags or quiet time activity boxes and store them away. Bring them out at this point. The child has to make do with the simple activity at hand and be more creative and imaginative to entertain himself with limited materials.

WHEN IS TOO MANY TOO MUCH?

HOW TO LIMIT THE NUMBER OF TOYS ? Part 2.2 of 4

@ Simple – BUY LESS. Whenever you are tempted to purchase something, ask yourself – ” Does my child need it or it’s a want I wish to satisfy?”

@ Follow a ” One in – One out” policy. For every toy purchased, one has to move put of the house. DONATE – GIVEAWAY – RECYCLE

@ Involve your child in purging toys. Show them the humble and kind side of parting away with toys they have grown out of love. Discuss how it can bring happiness and joy to an under-privileged child.

@ Model purging behaviour – Parents are the best role models. If you hoard things yourself, your child will do so too. If you have difficulty letting go, so will your child. Declutter and purge your clothes, kitchen items, cosmetics and involve your child. If you do it, they will be encouraged to do so too.

@ Maintain a “Maybe” box. If your child is unsure of letting go of a toy, put it in the “Maybe” box. If it stays there untouched for two weeks, it needs to go out.

@ Start “TOY ROTATION”. Put a certain number of playthings away in a seldom-used closet or the garage. When your kids get bored, bring those toys out and put others away in their place.This approach has the added benefit of giving the toys more meaning.

@ Send some to Grandma’s. The kids will be thrilled when they visit their grandma and grandpa and revisit some of their toys there.

@ It’s not just the amount of toys, it’s the kind. Ask yourself
“Does this toy invoke the creative facilities?”
“Does my child already have a similar toy serving the same purpose ?”

@ Involve family by addressing your relatives, and say, we are doing things differently. And request that each grandparent, uncle or aunt only buy one gift for the child.

@ Instead of toys, you yourself or family members can gift your time or plan excursions with your child. So instead of a toy, spend the money on an experience – nature park, aquariums, zoo’s, summer camps, hobby classes etc.

The last resort –
@ I call this the “MIDNIGHT HUNT”. If your child is unable to make decisions or is too young, do it for them. When they are not around or sleeping, take the toys you think they won’t miss or have grown out of. This requires alot of observation on your part. This is in a way cheating but sometimes you need to get your hands dirty.

I’m not anti-toy. I’m just pro-child. So do your child a favour today and limit their number of toys. (Just don’t tell them you got the idea from me.)

 

Image Source – Google Search (Free to use Commercially)

WHEN IS TOO MANY TOO MUCH ?

Part 2.1 of 4

Now that we have covered the harm that too many toys can do and its adverse effects on their temperament and behaviour; let’s discuss the advantages of having fewer toys.

ADVANTAGES OF FEWER TOYS –
@ With fewer toys, a toy is rare and is precious. Limiting toys allows for increased depth of play that allows children to process their day. When kids know their toys are limited, they invest the time and care into the ones they have.

@ Playing with fewer toys is like having a cup where they carry all of their experiences from the day. This allows them to empty their cup for the day and be ready for the next without being overwhelmed.

@ Helps them focus and increase attention span. They are not easily distracted and concentrate on completing a task at hand before moving to the next.

@ The more a child can impart and engross themselves in the toy, the better the toy. The child can have an agenda or task to perform and purpose.

@ Nothing is more priceless than the feeling of I have built something and I have done something. This builds the child’s self-esteem enormously. This is possible only with concentration and focus.

@ Helps in sibling bonding. With fewer toys, siblings learn to share and create their own system of turn-taking. But with too many toys, they miss out on learning to cooperate and start marking their “territories” of toys.

@ By not emphasizing toys as the ultimate reward, kids find value in other ways. They can play with their current toys or other household items, play games and hang out with loved ones.

@ Children with fewer toys learn how to develop interpersonal relationships with other kids and adults. They learn the give and take of a good conversation.

@ Fewer toys allows your children to love books, music, coloring, and painting. And a love for art will help them better appreciate beauty, emotion, and communication in their world.

@ Fewer toys help children become resourceful by solving problems with only the materials at hand. And resourcefulness is a gift with unlimited potential.

@ Children who have too many toys give up too quickly. If they have a toy that they can’t figure out, it will quickly tossed for different, easier one. Kids with fewer toys learn perseverance, patience, and determination.

@ Kids who get everything they want believe they can have everything they want. This attitude will quickly lead to an unhealthy lifestyle because life doesn’t work that way. Fewer toys teach them some important life lessons. You can make them work(complete chores, reward behaviour, academics, sports etc) to get a particular toy. The accomplishment and pride they feel is so precious.

@ And the most simple reason is to provide your child a cleaner, healthier and tidier home. Wouldn’t you like that ??

WHEN IS TOO MANY TOO MUCH?

Part 1 of 4

Do toys occupy every available space in your home ?

Is there a play kitchen, blocks, art paraphernalia, riding toys, piles of puzzles, stacks of games, baskets of small treasures scattered around ??

Are the playthings piled against walls, overflowing the shelves and stowed in every available nook and cranny of your home ??

Do you hoard stuff from preloved stores, thrift shops or grab deals because it’s cost effective at that moment of time ?

If you have answered YES to even one of the above, you really need to rethink and do something about your situation.

When is too many TOO MUCH ?
I am NOT against toys. They are wonderful. “TOO MANY” is a relative term.
And with the options available today, YOU are spoilt for choice for your kids. You as a parent tend to justify each toy as being educational or developmentally essential.
BUT IS IT REALLY DOING THAT ?

NO. IT’S CAUSING MORE HARM THAN YOU CAN THINK.

@ For toddlers and preschoolers, an overload of playthings can be overwhelming and distracting.

@ They pick up one toy, drop it, and move on. They can’t focus on using any of their things to the fullest.

@ Toy overload can lead kids age 6 and older to think that everything is replaceable and nothing is valuable.

@ They don’t learn to appreciate their possessions or feel a responsibility to care for them.

@ They cannot hold an attention span long enough to actually learn from them, instead they feel compelled to rummage through and touch everything without ever fully immersing themselves in any one activity.

@ Such children are quite fidgety and will simply go about touching anything and everything within their grasp just for the heck of it.

@ Tantrums are the devices of young children to show they are overloaded.
It’s a child’s undeniable message that they are too stimulated.

@ If every time your baby fusses, you give her a new toy to entertain her, you’ve trained her that the way to happiness is more new toys. And you’ve trained her that your job is to keep her entertained at all times.

@ Feeling surrounded by choices can create an internal pressure to play with everything, and stress over choosing which thing to play with next.

@ If your child plays in room where a TV is on, he will spend less time with individual toys and shift attention more quickly from one activity to another.

@ Many toys also have pre-determined characteristics and storylines. This restricts a child’s creativity and imagination.

@ Too many toys takes away the “specialness” of an item and the child is unable to strike a bond. For example, one special stuff toy compared to a bag full.

@ Too many toys causes a sense of entitlement or normalcy. You end up setting a standard and it becomes a norm. Your child will get upset if when you end up buying only 3 gifts instead of the usual 5 for a festival.

@ Giving toys all the time will also prevent kids from understanding the concept of “enough.”

@ Too many toys cause sensory overload. Rather than having downtime after a long day, they’re triggered from too many choices.

Always REMEMBER – There does not exist “the one best toy that all kids need” in order to learn and grow.

Our kids can, and do, learn from everything in their environment. Everything else is all a marketing gimmick.

TOY ROTATION

Toy rotation systems promote higher-level thinking during play and result in children playing for increased increments of time.

Step 1 – Collect all the Toys
Find every toy in your home that is a good candidate for toy rotation and toss it into a pile. However, consider leaving your pretend-play food in the kids kitchen or the elaborate puzzles in their boxes OR can choose to place them in zip-lock pouches. This is the best time to purge or declutter.

Step 2 – Sort (The toughest part)
Sort your toy pile into several smaller piles according to the toy’s primary educational functions listed below. It sounds worse than it is!
A primary educational function can be mathematics, Language, Science, Arts, Drama, Cutting & Gluing, Puzzles, Building (blocks etc), manipulatives, practical life, music, logic, social studies, Worldwide, imaginative play and so on. [If you are a SUPER SUPER SUPERMOM]

Or

{WHAT I SUGGEST STRONGLY – PRACTICAL MOM }
You can categorise into bulk items by their end outcome
Moving toys like cars,balls
Pretend play toys like cash registers, kitchen sets, farms, car-washing station, etc.
Thinking toys like puzzles and board games
Developmental toys like sensorial, sorting, fine motor, gross motor, etc.

Exhausting isn’t it ? But rewards are sweet. It’s a one time chore ladies. Then you are sorted for quite a long time

Step 3 – One Toy Per Category, Per Rotation

Select at least one toy to display from each category or skill development per rotation. Best to use clear boxes for storage for easy access.

How to actually IMPLEMENT toy rotation
@ Take 4 (or how many you want) clear boxes. Label them 1-4. Keep the number of boxes limited.

@ Once you have decided your sorting system (exhaustive or bulk), prepare four boxes and put one group of every category in them. This way you will have in each rotation some thinking toys, some moving toys and some pretend play toys.

@ Keep one box out and rest of three – hide them away. If all the toys don’t fit in these 4 boxes, take one big container and put the rest in (BUT in labelled bags). So you don’t have to sort again and can just renew the 4 boxes again.

@ Keep big floor puzzles, books, art materials out of the box. You can pick one big puzzle, 2-3 books and 2-3 art activities to do during the time period you decide in a separate shelf.

@ I also like to add a 5th category which is practical skills and experiments. So either one do practical life task or one science/social study experiment.

To sum it up, this way you have
– 4 boxes with 2-3 options of each category of toys (2 toys / category will make 8 toys in the box)
– one floor puzzle (optional)
– 2-3 books
– 2-3 art activities
– practical life or experiments

Step 4 – Display
@ Display the toys from the box you have out as welcoming and exciting as you can in baskets and on their shelves. Spice it up with their artwork and books and you are set for 1 week!

Step 5 – Time period
@ One week is a minimum good time for toy rotation. DON’T BE TEMPTED TO DO IT EVERYDAY.
@ This way you are not overwhelmed as your boxes are ready (3 hidden away) and the child is not saturated playing with the same stuff again and again.

Step 6 –
After 4 weeks (1 week per box and 4 boxes in total), go through your big container and change the boxes again. MIX and Match maybe some from box 2 and big container etc. So this big changeover takes place only every ONE MONTH.

MY ADVICE
# OBSERVE AND LEARN.
If you’d like, you can write down 5 toys that you noticed your children haven’t played with during a rotation.
PURGE IT IMMEDIATELY.

# Give the system time. Don’t give up too soon on your own ability to rotate the toys or on your child’s ability to play with the toys. Children often need a couple of months, just as you do, to adjust to the new way to play at home.
# You will soon realise “LESS TOYS EQUAL TO MORE CREATIVE & IMAGINATIVE PLAY”

# TRY IT FOR 2 MONTHS BEFORE QUITTING. That means 2 big rotational rounds.

# New toy in – old out policy

# If they get a present OR have a favourite toy, put it in a special box which remains out always.

Make your system unique to your family’s needs and most importantly, have fun!